Tag: wives

Leading Imperfectly is Obedience

God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called. He loves taking men like you and me and using us anyway.

I know that voice inside your head.

The one that keeps saying you’re too damaged, too messed up, too far gone to step up and lead your wife, your kids, your home.

The voice tells you you’ve blown it. Shame hits hard. It tries to convince you to step back, hide out, wait until you’re “fixed” before you lead again.

But here’s the truth— God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called. He loves taking men like you and me and using us anyway.

Think about David. He committed adultery and then orchestrated a murder to cover it up. When Nathan called him out, David didn’t make excuses. He owned it. In Psalm 51, he prays, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

God called that broken man “a man after My own heart.” The same flawed king led a nation and wrote psalms that still set people free today.

Or Peter, who swore he’d die for Jesus—then denied Him three times. Regret wrecked him. But Jesus didn’t write him off.

By the fire, Jesus restored him: “Do you love Me?” Peter got back up, led the early church, and one sermon later, 3,000 people came to faith.

Your failures don’t disqualify you. That’s exactly where God does His best work. He turns weakness into a powerful testimony, shame into redemption, brokenness into a breakthrough.

So here’s your one practical next step today—Stop hiding.

Get alone with God and name that one thing—the regret, the wound, the imperfection—say it out loud to Him.

Repent fully, no excuses. Then get up and lead anyway. Show up, flaws and all.

Because real biblical leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about pursuing God’s heart persistently, even in weakness. That’s where true strength is forged.

That’s exactly what we do in Rebound Week 4—building men who lead like David and Peter: repentant, resilient, relentless.

Who’s feeling that tug in your chest right now? Drop a “YES” in the comments if you’re ready to lead through the mess.

Share this with another man who needs this reminder.

Here’s why your wife doesn’t respect you anymore (and what you can do about it).

You love like Christ, she respects like the church. It’s a beautiful cycle—until one side breaks. When you drop the ball, her respect doesn’t vanish overnight. It just fades away because she is wired to follow a strong, loving leader.

You know how Ephesians 5 lays it out: You love like Christ, she respects like the church. It’s a beautiful cycle—until one side breaks. When you drop the ball, her respect doesn’t vanish overnight. It just fades away because she is wired to follow a strong, loving leader. Here’s what usually kills it:

  1. You stopped putting her first. When you get busy with work, hobbies, or your own comfort, she feels like she’s last on the list. Her heart hardens. It’s not nagging; it’s her soul saying, “Where’s the guy who cherished me?”
  2. Harsh words. One sarcastic comment, one “whatever,” one silent treatment too many—it piles up. She stops feeling safe, and a wife can’t respect a man who makes her feel small.
  3. You handed over the leadership. You’re the head, not to rule like a king, but to serve like Jesus. If you’re waffling on decisions, letting her carry the spiritual weight, or just checking out, she feels alone. No woman wants to lead her husband—she wants to follow a man worth following.
  4. You quit pursuing her heart. You don’t ask how she really feels. You don’t notice when she’s hurting. You don’t make her feel like the most beautiful woman alive. She starts believing you don’t see her. Respect dies when honor fades.
  5. Your own strength is slipping. This one’s quiet but killer. Porn, laziness, fear, drifting from God—it all shows. She senses when you’re not fighting for your own holiness. Wives are drawn to men who have fire in their souls. When that fire dims, respect dims too.

None of this is to beat you up—it’s to wake you up. The Bible says you can turn this ship around. You lead, God moves.

Forget waiting for her to change first. You change first. Commit to these four things.

  1. Sacrifice for her daily—no excuses. Do something meaningful for her every day. Take the kids so she can nap. Handle dinner. No “what about me?” attitude. Just love like Jesus. She’ll feel it, and respect will start creeping back.
  2. Speak life. Cut out criticism, sarcasm, yelling—gone. If you mess up, own it instantly. Replace it with encouragement: “You’re amazing at that,” or “I love how you handle things.” Gentleness rebuilds safety fast.
  3. Lead spiritually. When she sees you under God’s authority, she’ll want to follow you again.
  4. Pursue her like you did when you were dating. Ask real questions: “How are you really feeling?” Plan a cheap date night. Compliment her specifically. Touch her without expecting anything. Make her feel seen and desired. Daily pursuit reignites the spark.

Do these consistently. Most wives don’t need perfection; they need consistency. Soon, you’ll see her tone soften, her eyes linger, maybe even her initiating affection. If she doesn’t respond right away? Stay steady. Your job is to be the man God called you to be, not to control her reaction.