What the Bible says about being a Man

Biblical masculinity is rooted in the image of God Himself: a God who is kind yet fierce, gentle yet untamed, who fights for His people, who risks everything to rescue them, who leads with sacrificial love.

Would you agree that we live in a world that has grown weary and confused?

☑Fatherless homes have become the norm.

☑Gender is treated as a fluid invention of the culture.

☑Boys grow up uncertain of what it even means to be a man.

Are you worried about it? Is something deep inside you stirring?

It’s that ancient longing God placed in a man’s heart. But the world (and sometimes the church) has twisted it, labeled it “toxic,” and tried to tame it into something safe, manageable, and ultimately lifeless.

Let’s be clear: toxic masculinity is real, but it’s not true masculinity.

It’s the false self—the wounded man lashing out in anger or domination because he never received the affirmation he needed as a boy, never heard from his father that he has what it takes. It’s aggression without purpose, strength without love, conquest without sacrifice. It hurts women, abandons children, and leaves everyone emptier. The culture is right to call that out as poison.

But in its reaction, the world (and the church) has gone too far: it now ridicules strength, adventure, and the fierce protective instinct God wired into men. It tells boys to suppress their energy, to be compliant and soft, to apologize for being male. And in doing so, it starves the very soul of what God designed manhood to be.

Biblical masculinity, on the other hand, is something altogether different. It’s rooted in the image of God Himself: a God who is kind yet fierce, gentle yet untamed, who fights for His people, who risks everything to rescue them, who leads with sacrificial love.

Biblical manhood means living as a son of the Father first—secure in His love, healed from your wounds. It means fighting battles that matter…

🤝the spiritual war for your family’s soul

🤝the daily pursuit of your wife as Jesus pursues the church

🤝the discipleship of your children so they grow up knowing truth

The culture’s confusion doesn’t change God’s design. It only makes the need more urgent.

God is calling you to lead your family with Jesus’ authority…

gentle strength

fierce protection

biblical truth.

You don’t need to wait for permission!

You have what it takes. God is faithful.

Rebound: 8-Week Transformation for Christian Men will guide you through that awakening—eight weeks to reclaim your heart and lead like Christ. I have 2 coaching spots available in February. Let’s equip you for your calling. Click here to ask questions or get started.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

Men who will make a difference and make a change have a plan.

What’s your plan?

The Rebound 8-Week Transformation coaching program can be your plan.

Rebound is an intensive 8-week coaching program created specifically for men like you. It is designed for faithful followers of Jesus who know they’re not stewarding their lives well. These men are struggling to find purpose and meaning. They have lost their wives’ and kids’ respect.

Over eight relentless weeks, I will guide you step-by-step to:

• Break the chains of burnout at the root through ruthless honesty and surrender.

• Uncover God’s specific calling for this season and replace lies of irrelevance with eternal purpose.

• Reclaim spiritual authority in your home by leading powerful family worship and intentional discipleship.

• Heal emotional distance and reignite passionate intimacy in your marriage — winning back your wife’s heart and admiration.

• Restore physical vitality through disciplined habits that rebuild energy, strength, and commanding presence.

• Forge an iron-sharpening-iron brotherhood for accountability, sharpening, and lifelong warrior bonds.

• Launch into a bold kingdom mission that turns your inward fire outward and makes it unstoppable.

This is not for everyone. But if you are feeling that pull – that this is exactly what you’ve been looking for, schedule a connection.

When we begin, we will meet face-to-face (even over Zoom). We’ll walk through your transformation together.

This is high commitment, so there is an investment on your part. But you will see transformation begin immediately.

My schedule is limited. I can only work with 3 guys at a time. Don’t wait. Let’s start now so you can begin to see the results you want and need (and your family wants and needs).

Leading Imperfectly is Obedience

God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called. He loves taking men like you and me and using us anyway.

I know that voice inside your head.

The one that keeps saying you’re too damaged, too messed up, too far gone to step up and lead your wife, your kids, your home.

The voice tells you you’ve blown it. Shame hits hard. It tries to convince you to step back, hide out, wait until you’re “fixed” before you lead again.

But here’s the truth— God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called. He loves taking men like you and me and using us anyway.

Think about David. He committed adultery and then orchestrated a murder to cover it up. When Nathan called him out, David didn’t make excuses. He owned it. In Psalm 51, he prays, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

God called that broken man “a man after My own heart.” The same flawed king led a nation and wrote psalms that still set people free today.

Or Peter, who swore he’d die for Jesus—then denied Him three times. Regret wrecked him. But Jesus didn’t write him off.

By the fire, Jesus restored him: “Do you love Me?” Peter got back up, led the early church, and one sermon later, 3,000 people came to faith.

Your failures don’t disqualify you. That’s exactly where God does His best work. He turns weakness into a powerful testimony, shame into redemption, brokenness into a breakthrough.

So here’s your one practical next step today—Stop hiding.

Get alone with God and name that one thing—the regret, the wound, the imperfection—say it out loud to Him.

Repent fully, no excuses. Then get up and lead anyway. Show up, flaws and all.

Because real biblical leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about pursuing God’s heart persistently, even in weakness. That’s where true strength is forged.

That’s exactly what we do in Rebound Week 4—building men who lead like David and Peter: repentant, resilient, relentless.

Who’s feeling that tug in your chest right now? Drop a “YES” in the comments if you’re ready to lead through the mess.

Share this with another man who needs this reminder.

From Burnout to Confidence: Living as a Son

You don’t have to wait until you “feel” like a son. Start acting like one—speak it, thank Him for it, and pray from that place—and the feelings will catch up.

If you’re feeling worn out, like you’re carrying a weight you can’t quite name, and no matter how hard you try, you still feel like you’re coming up short in your own eyes, I need you to hear me clearly:

You are not an orphan trying to earn your way back into the family. You are a son. Right now. Today. You are fully loved, fully accepted, and fully pleasing to the Father—not because of what you’ve done, but because of what Jesus has already done.

I see this every single day with men just like you. They’re good guys—they go to church, provide for their families, and stay faithful—but deep down, they’re living as though they still have to prove their worth. And that lie is exhausting.

Here’s the truth: the moment you trusted Christ, the Father looked at you just as He looked at Jesus when He came up out of the water, saying: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). That’s not just a nice; that’s your new legal identity. It’s locked in and non-negotiable.

When you start living from this place, everything shifts. You stop performing for approval. You stop snapping at your kids out of insecurity. You stop withdrawing from your wife because you feel like a failure. Instead, you start to lead from a place of rest rather than striving.

This is precisely what we focus on in Week 2 of Rebound—rebuilding your identity in Christ.

Here are four things you can do today to start living like the son you already are:

☑Say it out loud first thing in the morning: “I am God’s beloved Son. There is no condemnation for me. Christ lives in me.” Say this until your soul begins to believe it more than your feelings do.

☑The moment you notice yourself trying to “earn” God’s love, stop and say: “Father, thank You that I already have Your full approval because of Jesus. I rest in that right now.” Gratitude counters the performance trap every time.

☑Next time you pray—even if it’s just in the car—start with “Abba, Father…” (Romans 8:15). Talk with Him the way a secure child talks to a dad who loves him deeply. No need to grovel; just engage in honest, confident conversation.

☑When the enemy whispers, “You’re failing again,” “You’re not enough,” or “God’s disappointed,” don’t let those thoughts dominate. Respond with: “No. I’ve been crucified with Christ. The old me is dead. I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). Speak truth louder than the accusation.

💯You don’t have to wait until you “feel” like a son. Start acting like one—speak it, thank Him for it, and pray from that place—and the feelings will catch up.

I’ve seen men go from feeling burned out to becoming confident leaders in just weeks once this understanding clicks. Your wife will notice the change, your kids will see it, and you’ll feel it.

You’re not an orphan anymore; you are a son. Start living like it today.

Drop a comment below if you’re choosing sonship right now. Share this with friend who needs to hear this—he might be carrying the same weight you once did.

And if you’re ready to go all-in and rebuild every part of your life—marriage, family leadership, purpose, strength, brotherhood, mission—just comment “REBOUND,” and I’ll send you the full roadmap.

Pursue Your Wife

A godly husband doesn’t wait for romance to happen. He initiates it.

A godly husband doesn’t wait for romance to happen. He initiates it. God commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). That sacrificial, pursuing love isn’t passive. Jesus pursued you when you were far off—He initiated, He pursued, He gave everything.

Your wife needs that same initiating love from you.

In the Song of Solomon, the husband doesn’t sit back; he pursues with passion: “Behold, you are beautiful, my love… You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride, with one glance of your eyes” (Song of Solomon 4:1,9).

He notices her, affirms her, draws her in. He leads the romance.

Colossians 3:19 echoes it: “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Love actively, tenderly, without bitterness.

With everything going on in your life, it’s easy to coast in this area. But coasting cools intimacy. Your wife may not say it out loud, but she still longs to feel pursued, desired, cherished—like she’s your bride, not just your roommate.

So initiate today:

☑Plan a date night

📱Text her something specific you love about her—not generic, but personal.

🫶Hold her hand, look her in the eyes, tell her she’s captivating.

Pursue emotional connection first—listen without fixing—then let physical intimacy flow from that heart-bond.

This is biblical masculinity in action. Lead with love. Initiate with strength and tenderness. Watch God rekindle the fire in your marriage.

Your wife is worth the pursuit. She’s your gift from God.

Husbands: Who’s stepping up this week to pursue your wife like Jesus pursues us?

Drop a comment if you’re committing to initiate romance this week. Or DM me if you need practical ideas from the Rebound 8-Week Transformation Program for Men.

Your marriage matters eternally. Lead it well.

Small Steps to Stay Close to Jesus

The enemy loves it when we feel too busy or too messed up to reach out. But Jesus wants you leaning on Him, depending on His strength, walking with Him through the ordinary stuff.

Life hits hard sometimes, doesn’t it?

Between work piling up, the kids needing you, temptations popping up out of nowhere, and just trying to keep it all together, it’s easy to feel like your connection with Jesus gets pushed to the back burner.

But listen: He’s not the one who drifted. He’s right here with you, closer than you think, ready the second you turn to Him.

You don’t have to have a perfect morning routine or an hour of uninterrupted prayer to stay close today. Just take the real, small steps that fit your actual life:

When stress starts building, just say His name quietly—”Jesus…”

On your drive or while you’re waiting for something, thank Him for one real thing

Pull up your Bible app for literally 60 seconds—read a couple verses and let them hit you

When that old temptation shows up, stop and speak: “Lord, I can’t do this alone. I need you right now.”

Those little moments? They’re huge. Every time you turn toward Him, even a little, you’re choosing closeness over distance.

The enemy loves it when we feel too busy or too messed up to reach out. But Jesus wants you leaning on Him, depending on His strength, walking with Him through the ordinary stuff.

Today, just choose to stay close. One small step at a time. He’s already right there meeting you.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” — James 4:8

Here’s why your wife doesn’t respect you anymore (and what you can do about it).

You love like Christ, she respects like the church. It’s a beautiful cycle—until one side breaks. When you drop the ball, her respect doesn’t vanish overnight. It just fades away because she is wired to follow a strong, loving leader.

You know how Ephesians 5 lays it out: You love like Christ, she respects like the church. It’s a beautiful cycle—until one side breaks. When you drop the ball, her respect doesn’t vanish overnight. It just fades away because she is wired to follow a strong, loving leader. Here’s what usually kills it:

  1. You stopped putting her first. When you get busy with work, hobbies, or your own comfort, she feels like she’s last on the list. Her heart hardens. It’s not nagging; it’s her soul saying, “Where’s the guy who cherished me?”
  2. Harsh words. One sarcastic comment, one “whatever,” one silent treatment too many—it piles up. She stops feeling safe, and a wife can’t respect a man who makes her feel small.
  3. You handed over the leadership. You’re the head, not to rule like a king, but to serve like Jesus. If you’re waffling on decisions, letting her carry the spiritual weight, or just checking out, she feels alone. No woman wants to lead her husband—she wants to follow a man worth following.
  4. You quit pursuing her heart. You don’t ask how she really feels. You don’t notice when she’s hurting. You don’t make her feel like the most beautiful woman alive. She starts believing you don’t see her. Respect dies when honor fades.
  5. Your own strength is slipping. This one’s quiet but killer. Porn, laziness, fear, drifting from God—it all shows. She senses when you’re not fighting for your own holiness. Wives are drawn to men who have fire in their souls. When that fire dims, respect dims too.

None of this is to beat you up—it’s to wake you up. The Bible says you can turn this ship around. You lead, God moves.

Forget waiting for her to change first. You change first. Commit to these four things.

  1. Sacrifice for her daily—no excuses. Do something meaningful for her every day. Take the kids so she can nap. Handle dinner. No “what about me?” attitude. Just love like Jesus. She’ll feel it, and respect will start creeping back.
  2. Speak life. Cut out criticism, sarcasm, yelling—gone. If you mess up, own it instantly. Replace it with encouragement: “You’re amazing at that,” or “I love how you handle things.” Gentleness rebuilds safety fast.
  3. Lead spiritually. When she sees you under God’s authority, she’ll want to follow you again.
  4. Pursue her like you did when you were dating. Ask real questions: “How are you really feeling?” Plan a cheap date night. Compliment her specifically. Touch her without expecting anything. Make her feel seen and desired. Daily pursuit reignites the spark.

Do these consistently. Most wives don’t need perfection; they need consistency. Soon, you’ll see her tone soften, her eyes linger, maybe even her initiating affection. If she doesn’t respond right away? Stay steady. Your job is to be the man God called you to be, not to control her reaction.

Who Is the Captain of Your Soul?

The reality is, most men today aren’t even aware who’s steering their inner ship. We pour our energy into careers, families, hobbies, and ministry—building impressive public lives—while our private world, our soul, lies neglected and disordered.

In a world that celebrates self-made men—the guy who grinds harder, achieves more, and bows to no one—there’s a famous line that has inspired countless people: “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

You probably recognize it from the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley. It’s a defiant declaration of human strength in the face of suffering. Henley wrote it from a hospital bed, battling an illness that had already cost him a leg. Many men admire that grit. I get it. Something is appealing about standing unconquered, steering your own ship no matter the storm.

But here’s the truth I’ve seen in coaching middle-aged Christian men like you: when we insist on being the sole captain of our souls, we often end up shipwrecked. Oscar Wilde, reflecting on his own downfall in De Profundis, admitted as much: “I ceased to be lord over myself. I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did not know it.” He had chased pleasure and self-rule, only to find it led to ruin.

The reality is, most men today aren’t even aware who’s steering their inner ship. We pour our energy into careers, families, hobbies, and ministry—building impressive public lives—while our private world, our soul, lies neglected and disordered. Like Gordon MacDonald warns in Ordering Your Private World, if we don’t cultivate strength on the inside, our outer lives will eventually collapse.

Think about it: If someone asked you today, “How is it with your soul?”—a question John Wesley used to hold his people accountable—would you have a real answer? Or would you pause, clueless, because no one’s ever pressed you there? Too many good Christian men are left stammering, because we’ve never learned to tend the garden of our inner lives.

Biblical masculinity isn’t about self-mastery in isolation. It’s about strength under authority—surrendering the captain’s wheel to Jesus Christ, the true Lord of our souls. When we do that, we regain purpose, a deep connection with God and others, and the resilience to lead our families and communities with integrity.

One Simple Step to Begin Ordering Your Private World

You don’t need a complete overhaul today. Start with one actionable practice that any man can do immediately: Set aside 10 minutes each morning for unhurried time with God in Scripture and prayer, specifically asking Him, “How is it with my soul, Lord?”

Here’s how to do it right now:

  1. Find a quiet spot—before the demands of the day hit. No phone, no distractions.
  2. Read a short passage—start with a Psalm (like Psalm 139 or 51) or a few verses from the Gospels.
  3. Pray honestly—Invite Jesus to search your heart. Speak the question out loud: “Lord, how is it with my soul today?” Then listen. Journal what comes up: gratitude, sin to confess, fears, joys, or just silence.
  4. End by surrendering—Pray something like: “Jesus, You are the Captain of my soul. Order my inner world today for Your glory.”

This isn’t optional soul-care fluff. It’s the foundation of thriving in biblical masculinity. When your private world is ordered around Christ, you’ll lead with clearer purpose, love your wife and kids from overflow rather than exhaustion, and stand firm when culture pressures you to compromise.

The unconquerable soul isn’t the one that defies God—it’s the one submitted to Him. Take that first step tomorrow morning. Regain command by handing the wheel to the One who calms the storms.

You’ve got this, because He’s got you.

Overcome Burnout: Rediscover Your Purpose as a Man of God

You’re not a victim! Don’t be the guy who wakes up every morning in a living hell like this:

…every morning he wakes up hollow, staring at a family that no longer looks to him for strength, carrying the crushing shame of knowing he’s failing God’s calling as a husband and father—trapped in regret, isolation, and the terrifying realization that his legacy will be one of wasted potential and broken relationships.

What if there was a better way?

Your home becomes a place of joy, unity, and godly power; your work gains eternal purpose; your prayers carry fire; and you walk with unshakeable confidence knowing you are the man God created you to be—fully alive, deeply honored, and leaving a legacy that echoes into eternity.

I’ve walked through the valley of burnout myself and know the agony of losing my fire. God pulled me out and commanded me to pull others out too, and because the enemy is aggressively destroying Christian men and families—I refuse to stand by while that happens.

God has a great plan for you. Let’s take the next 8 weeks to focus on living out God’s best for you. Email, “REBOUND” to ron@reboundlifecoaching.com, and we’ll get started.

Say Yes to God

When a man yields himself to God with complete obedience, God can do great things through him.

God can use the man who is willing to be obedient. It’s simple: listen and obey.

The confirmation of this reality is all over the pages of the Bible. Especially Daniel.

Daniel was a Jewish young man from Judah’s nobility. He was taken captive to Babylon around 605 BC. This occurred when King Nebuchadnezzar conquered Jerusalem. He was selected for training to serve in the Babylonian royal court. His friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were also chosen. They were picked because of their intelligence, appearance, and aptitude (Daniel 1:3-6).

Throughout his long life, Daniel consistently demonstrated extraordinary obedience. He showed unwavering loyalty to God, even when it directly threatened his life and career.

Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the king’s rich food and wine, which violated Jewish dietary laws. Instead, he asked for vegetables and water. God blessed him and his friends with superior health and wisdom (Daniel 1:8-17).

More importantly, Daniel developed a disciplined life of prayer. We know that he prayed three times a day. He gave thanks to God and knelt in front of his open window facing toward Jerusalem. This was not a casual habit. It was a deliberate act of worship. It served as a remembrance of God’s covenant promises, even while living in a pagan empire.

By the time Darius ruled, Daniel was well over 80 years old. He had risen to one of the three highest positions in the kingdom. King Darius even planned to set him over the entire realm because “an excellent spirit was in him” (Daniel 6:3).

This provoked jealousy among the other high officials. They looked for any corruption or failure in Daniel but could find none—he was completely faithful and honest. Their only choice was to attack him based on his faith.

They deceived King Darius into signing an irrevocable decree. For the next 30 days, anyone praying to or worshiping a god or human being, other than the king, would face dire consequences. They would be thrown into a den of lions (Daniel 6:6-9). This was a deliberate trap designed to exploit Daniel’s known devotion to God.

As soon as Daniel learned that the decree had been signed, he went home, opened his windows toward Jerusalem as usual, knelt down, and prayed and gave thanks to God three times that day—just as he had always done (Daniel 6:10).

He did not hide.
He did not reduce his prayers to whispers.
He did not compromise even slightly.

Daniel chose open, defiant obedience to God over self-preservation and obedience to an unjust human law. He knew the consequence was almost certain death. Yet, he considered faithfulness to God more important than his position, his reputation, or even his life.

Daniel was arrested. The king was deeply distressed and attempted to find a legal loophole. However, the law could not be changed. Daniel was thrown into the den of lions. The king spent a sleepless night fasting and, at dawn, ran to the den and called out in anguish, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?” (Daniel 6:20).

Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I done any wrong before you, Your Majesty” (Daniel 6:21-22).

God miraculously preserved Daniel all night. When he was lifted out unharmed, King Darius threw the schemers and their families into the den instead, and the lions quickly crushed them.

Darius issued a new decree that in every part of his kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel, “for he is the living God and he endures forever… He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions” (Daniel 6:26-27).

Daniel’s conviction was unwavering. He believed that prayer and worship belong to God alone, no matter what an earthly ruler demands. This conviction became one of the greatest testimonies in Scripture of courageous faith under pressure.

When a man yields himself to God with complete obedience, God can do great things through him. The God who shut the lions’ mouths is still capable of delivering those who stand firm for Him.