Flesh, blood, atonement, love—this is the language of Holy Thursday. Jesus and his disciples find a room to remember Passover, the ancient celebration of Israel’s exodus from Egypt. On that Exodus night, the blood of the lamb spread on the doorposts of the Israelites atoned for their sins and protected them from the wrath of God that was poured out on Egypt.
Now, in an upper room, Jesus positions himself as that Passover lamb about to be sacrificed, whose blood will atone for sin and protect against God’s wrath. While the first Passover and the original (old) covenant focused on national Israel, Jesus expands the second (new) covenant to include all who confess faith in him. Those saved by the blood of Jesus the Lamb become a royal priesthood, “declaring the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9-10).
The mission of the Church is beautifully intertwined within the events of Holy Thursday. Jesus is the Lamb whose body was sacrificed and whose blood was shed to atone for and forgive the sins of those who confess faith in him. These believers become a movement of priests, declaring the gospel of freedom and taking on the Abrahamic mantle of blessing the nations (Genesis 12).
On Holy Thursday, how do you perceive your calling to share the gospel and bless the people closest to you?
The Olivet Discourse is a significant part of Wednesday during Holy Week, found in Matthew 23-26, Mark 13, and Luke 20-21. In Mark’s account, Jesus speaks about the destruction of the Temple and urges his followers to pay attention to the signs of the end of the age. While much of what Jesus discusses in this Discourse is prophetically linked to the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 AD by the Roman Empire, our contemporary American fascination with End Times interpretations can obscure the original meaning of his words. Nonetheless, the Discourse reminds Christians to trust in Jesus and remain steadfast when everything around them falls apart.
This reflection is especially relevant during Holy Week. When Jesus is arrested, his followers flee and become scattered, filled with fear and uncertainty about the future. Their world has been turned upside down. What about you? How do you respond when your life is unexpectedly shaken? Where do you turn when everything seems to collapse? If your refuge isn’t Jesus, you may be standing on sinking sand!
Tuesday of Holy Week is often associated with the story of Jesus cursing the fig tree. This passage can be difficult to understand. Many theologians interpret it as Jesus cursing the nation of Israel for failing to bear spiritual fruit. They were not worshipping God and, as a result, were not producing the characteristics of a godly life. The entire scene is quite sobering.
Jesus intends for each of us to bear fruit. The only way to do this is by staying connected to the vine (John 15). The vine represents Jesus, who is our source of life. Christian theology and history reveal that practices such as prayer, Bible study, fasting, serving, worship, and connecting with fellow believers are effective ways to remain connected to Jesus. Which of these practices are you engaging in this week as we draw closer to the cross?
On this Monday of Holy Week, after entering Jerusalem as king, Jesus goes to the Temple. Once there, He overturns tables and calls the worshippers back to purity and holiness. People are healed, and children cry out, “Hosanna!”
As a follower of Jesus, you are the temple in which the presence of God dwells. The beginning of Holy Week presents an opportunity to reflect on purity and holiness. What does Jesus need to overturn in your life to take first place?
Turning fifty-five has caused me to become a bit more introspective. I won’t exhaust you with a list of 55 things I’ve learned in 55 years. I will offer 5 game-changing lessons I’ve made as a man, husband, father, pastor, and coach. Ignoring these will bring unnecessary pain.
#1 Make Decisions Based on Your Values. Solid values did not always drive my own decisions when I was younger. Pleasing others, climbing the ladder, and making a reputation distracted me. When I did reach what I thought was the pinnacle of my career I felt emptier than ever. Avoid unnecessary pain by discerning your values now and allowing every decision to flow easily from those values. You won’t be disappointed.
#2 Surround Yourself with These 4 People. Every man needs a supporter. This is someone who believes in you without question. Every man also needs a challenger. This is someone who challenges you to achieve more. Additionally, a questioner is necessary. They will keep you honest. Finally, a mentor or coach is important. This is someone you can turn to for advice and guidance.
#3 You Will Fail. Fail Forward. In Russel Crowe’s Robinhood, there is a terrific statement about falling and failing. “Rise and rise again until lambs become lions.” I’ve held onto that statement. Everyone fails. Some fail and fall harder than others. Never stay down. Continue rising, learning, and falling again. Your character and tenacity will strengthen. Your naivety will shrink, and you will emerge the lion.
#4 Make a Difference for One Other Person. Life is hard. Many people find themselves lonely, broken, and hopeless. The greatest thing you can do is to pay attention to the people around you. Find at least one person you can help. It’s good for you – serving defeats selfishness and is good for them.
#5 It’s Never Too Late. You missed opportunities when you were younger. Now you know better. Make changes. Forgive. Heal. Rebound. You are never done until you’re dead. Get your mission straight and start living.
I’d like to know if any of these make sense to you. Do they confirm your experience? Let me know. If I can help you walk through any of these, reach out.
We’ve been taught to focus on outcomes. The outcome defines personal and ministry success. And if we don’t achieve the expected outcome, we begin to devalue ourselves. Too many failures and we end up in the pit of despair.
A recent post on PositivePsychology.com provides substance to my statement.
“Employees who experience burnout will initially primarily complain of exhaustion. This exhaustion may be referred to as fatigue, tiredness, or feeling low on energy. It appears unshakeable. The fatigue is chronic (i.e., long-term) and continuous.
Next, employees suffering from burnout will appear pessimistic about their work. Their pessimism can manifest in various ways. For example, they may adopt an overtly negative view of their work. Their pessimism can be less overt and more subtle; for example, they may appear unmotivated, disinterested, or uncommitted.
As a result, employees will report feeling despondent about their performance and output in the workplace.”[1]
The phrase that stands out to me in this excerpt is “pessimistic about their work.” This is a great way of describing disappointment. Where have you been disappointed in ministry lately?
Because the Christian ministry leader works with people, there is always an opportunity to be disappointed or let down. We should expect those moments. But, sometimes, the one you’re most disappointed in is yourself. Or, maybe God.
For me, I’ve most often struggled with disappointment when those I led did not live up to my expectations. The outcome was not what I wanted, so I spiraled down into disappointment, frustration, and loneliness, eventually doubting my calling and ability to lead.
I wonder how many other Christian ministry leaders can identify with this.
We’ve been taught to focus on outcomes. The outcome defines personal and ministry success. And if we don’t achieve the expected outcome, we begin to devalue ourselves. Too many failures and we end up in the pit of despair.
Ministry becomes all about what you can do and achieve! If you’re successful in what you do, that just feeds the machine. You stack your successes, and you look like a genius until the wrong Jenga block is pulled out. Everything falls, and you don’t know what to do.
Outcome-based ministry is destroying good Christian ministry leaders.
We need a different ministry model. A model that orbits around Jesus and who he is making you as his follower and as a leader of his people.
Joseph Stowell has some great insight into all of this when he writes that we need Character-driven leaders “whose exemplary lives influence and empower those within the sphere of their authority to achieve great outcomes personally, spiritually, communally, and organizationally…The power behind their leadership is leveraged by their moral authority that comes from the credibility of their lives.”[2]
Character-driven leadership can break the cycle of disappointment and burnout among Christian ministry leaders. Why? It’s a leadership model that is focused on your discipleship.
In short, you’re not building the kingdom. Jesus is building his kingdom by building you. Your task as a leader is the same task of every follower of Jesus: allow the Holy Spirit to produce his fruit in you (Galatians 5). There are multiple ways for this to happen, but it begins with submission to the Spirit and not CEO strategies.
Matthew gives us insight into all of this when he writes about a parable Jesus taught (Matthew 25:14-30). Stowell comments on this,
Consistently, Scripture calls us to choose character-driven leadership. In the story of the ten talents, those who successfully stewarded the master’s estate were rewarded with this character-affirming declaration: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” While outcomes are not unimportant in the story, the affirmation is about the character of the steward that produced the outcomes – affirmation about who the steward is (good and faithful) and an affirmation about how the steward leads (servant).[3]
Leadership is, first and foremost, about character. The leader’s character drives the ministry.
So, Christian ministry leader, if you’re spiraling down into the pit of disappointment and despair, use it as a time of retreat and healing. Take care of your relationship with Jesus. Hear him speak these words of life into your spirit – “well done good and faithful servant.”
Break out of the American trap of trying to build your spiritual empire. This trap leads to disappointment. Instead, let the Holy Spirit produce his fruit in you and transform you from the inside out. The character transformation will be evident to those you are called to lead. They’ll most likely respond to your leadership because you have a new authority that comes from the credibility of your life. And, if they don’t respond, you’re still secure with Jesus, and maybe Jesus will start working in their lives differently.
If you’re disappointed in ministry, redefine your leadership!
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If this article has been helpful, let me know. If you’re a Christian ministry leader struggling with burnout, frustration, or disappointment and reconsidering your call, reach out to me before making any big decisions. I help burned-out Christian ministry leaders discover their next assignment in life.
[1] Alicia Nortje, “What Is Burnout? 16 Signs and Symptoms of Excessive Stress,” PositivePsychology.com, February 27, 2021, What Is Burnout? 16 Signs and Symptoms of Excessive Stress (positivepsychology.com).
[2] Joseph Stowell, Redefining Leadership: Character-Driven Habits of Effective Leaders (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing, 2014), 24.
Boys need strong masculine influence, especially from their fathers. But, the truth is, most men must also acknowledge their lack of strong, influential fathers.
There is a war on the masculine soul. Many boys are growing up with no real masculine influence. Gender confusion is rising. In many places (homes, offices, institutional churches), a Feminist worldview is blocking the male energy. Just within the last year or two, a father in Texas lost his lawsuit to keep his son’s mother from raising the boy as a female. Before we fully see the damage among men and boys in our Western culture, it may be another generation.
Boys need strong masculine influence, especially from their fathers. But, the truth is, most men must also acknowledge their lack of strong, influential fathers.
You may regret that your dad was absent from your development. You may have missed the relationship you saw other boys have with their dads. Maybe you wished that your dad threw a ball with you, listened to your questions about girls or cars, or cared about what you wanted to be when you grew up.
For some men, there is a dad-shaped hole in their lives. John Eldredge writes, “Every boy on his journey to becoming a man takes an arrow in the center of his heart, in the place of his strength. Because the wound is rarely discussed and rarely healed, every man carries a wound. And the wound is nearly always given by his father.”
During the early quarantine of the Covid pandemic, my youngest son took up skateboarding. He got pretty good. So for Christmas, he wanted a snowboard. I was hesitant. He’d never snowboarded before. He watched some YouTubers and thought it would be fun. I told him it was nothing like skateboarding. But he was determined.
So, he got a snowboard.
That weekend we hit the slopes. He hurried to the ski lift and rode it up a moderate hill. Until then, he had only practiced on a small hill in our yard. This slope was formidable for a beginner. He stepped onto his board and nudged to the edge of the mountain. As I watched from below, I saw him push off…and fall! Then I saw him get up, get his balance and go again. He fell. He fell just about all the way down the hill.
When he reached the bottom, I could see frustration and disappointment on his face. He had forgotten how long it took him to balance his skateboard and learn those techniques. I could see the disconnect in his eyes. “I can skate. Why isn’t it working on slopes?”
As he sat at the bottom of the hill, I knew this was an influential moment. So rather than an “I told you so,” I said, “Good try.” His response? “I think I’ll try a smaller hill.” I agreed. He boarded for two hours. Falling often. But encouraged frequently. “Bend your knees. Keep your head up. Give it another try.” By the following weekend, he was cruising! He returned to the hill that gave him his first defeat and boarded down without falling! He’s getting better.
What would have happened if I did say, “I told you so. You’ll never get this. Pack it in!” Those words would have been an arrow through his heart. He would live with a deep wound.
Masculinity is bestowed from one man to another. From a man to a boy. From a father to a son. A boy learns who he is and what he’s got from a man. He cannot learn it from a woman. He cannot learn it from other boys. The father must bless his son, conferring masculinity upon him. Then boys will become kings.
A sad reality is that many men are walking around trying to find the blessing their father never gave them. Men are looking for help, respect, and guidance – a picture of real masculinity – never given to them, thus crippling their growth from boyhood to manhood. You may be one of those men.
The curse can stop with you! You may be crippled, creeping through life without your father’s blessing. That hurts! It can be undone but will require focused work and significant mentoring by other men. But you must not pass this on to your sons. Stop the bleeding. Bless your boy.
How will you get this done? Here’s what’s always worked. Use this as a starting point.
Time spent makes a world of difference. Looking back on my own life, I have few memories of time spent with my father.
Some of the most recent research suggests that the average dad spends seven minutes daily on focused attention. That’s not going to get it done! Absenteeism may cause your son to feel emotionally distressed, guilty, or sad. Over time, a lack of attention could lead your son into risky behavior.
Blaze some trails together. Share an adventure. Walking through the woods is bonding time well spent. In ancient cultures, there was the belief that a boy only becomes a man through ritual and effort. There is a story from one tribal tradition where the men take the boys away for initiation. They are taken away from their mothers and into the woods. When he returns, the mother pretends not to know her son and asks to be introduced to “this young man.” What a beautiful picture of passage from boyhood into manhood. The son moves from his mother’s world to his father’s world.
Show them how to be strong. My boys loved the wrestling matches on the living room floor when they were younger. They’d come and jump on me, hungering for a challenge and physical touch. They’d try and pin me down. As they got older (and stronger), it was arm wrestling. Boys love to test their strength.
Your strength will inspire them. They’ll care for themselves in the way they see you care for yourself. Your strength and confidence will inspire them.
Help them discover their purpose. We no longer have the gift of apprenticeship built into our culture. There were days when boys could learn a valuable craft that would produce a remarkable career. But boys still need help discovering their gifts and purpose.
We talk about this often in my house. We see the value not only in education but in living life with purpose, finding a way to do what you love pivoting when necessary. My boys have always been encouraged to try many new experiences. Sometimes their choices have surprised me, but I appreciate their willingness to try.
The war on the masculine soul is real. Boys and men are on the front line every day. We are in the battle whether we want to be or not. Save your son and give him a fighting chance!
A boy will never be a man if his masculinity is stripped from him. The world is full of men who have never been initiated into manhood. Don’t miss the chance you have.
Jesus changed the trajectory of his family tree, and he can work with you to change your course. You can say NO to the past and let Jesus recreate something different through you. He can save you and give your family a new story.
Part 2: Everyone has a past. How will you make a new future?
Liar.
Cheater.
Thief.
Incestuous.
Prostitute.
Adulterer.
Murderer.
Idolater.
This is not a list of the characteristics of people we would want to associate with. But people with these characteristics appeared in Jesus’ family tree (see Matthew 1). You and I can choose many things but can’t choose our family.
I’ve watched many men remain trapped in the story of their past. I watched this play with my own family. I grew up in a blue-collar home. I’m proud because it taught me many things about life, working hard, and being responsible. But it also caused me to believe a lot of crap that followed me around for far too long.
My family tree convinced me that it was my lot always to be financially broke. My family tree convinced me I would never be better or escape the routine of hard labor. I would never become successful. I would labor until my body eventually gave out. Even though it was never said out loud, I learned that life was hard and could never rise above my station. The sins and circumstances of previous generations would continue the curse on me and my legacy through alcoholism, gambling, and abuse.
Have you found yourself in this trap?
A man’s past can betray his potential.
I think this is why I like reading Jesus’ genealogy. When reading the Bible, most people skip over this part of Matthew 1. It seems like a list of hard-to-pronounce names that have no bearing on the rest of the story. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Jesus’ family tree makes all the difference and influences who Jesus is.
Jesus’ family tree recognizes that God uses all sorts of people and situations to shape the future. While painful, the good and the bad of the past are relevant. Jesus’ history shaped him and his mission.
There’s much theology here that we don’t have time to explore but let me say this: Jesus redeemed his past and made a new and different future. And, through Jesus, this can happen for you, too.
Matthew’s Gospel, in verse 21, tells us, “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.” The name “Jesus” literally means “the LORD saves.” This is critically important.
Jesus saves you from your past and allows you to create a new future. He redeems all the garbage that can follow you through life, causing trauma and dysfunction. Jesus never ignores the past, but he can and will create a new family tree branch out of you.
Here’s a silly story from my past that proves this. I grew up in a family that swore and cussed often. By often, I mean all the time! Every other word out of the mouths of men in my family was dirty and ugly. Usually, they would include taking the LORD’s name in vain. It never bothered me because it was all I knew.
When I was 16, I started following Jesus. I never preached to my family. They could see a change in me. But what I began noticing is that the swearing and cussing died down. I never complained about it or spoke against it, but something happened. I believe God convicted them of their language, and he began to change them. Now, I rarely hear the men of my family of origin swear.
Hopefully, God is redeeming and growing a new branch through my family.
Jesus changed the trajectory of his family tree, and he can work with you to change your course. You can say NO to the past and let Jesus recreate something different through you. He can save you and give your family a new story.
Here’s why I think this is so important in the larger conversation of masculinity. Far too often, men believe that our masculinity is tied to the past. We must be like our dads or grandfathers. Sometimes this is great. You might have healthy male role models and want to pass on their influence. Often, many don’t. To you, I say discover a new future in Jesus and break the broken and painful cycles of the past. Let Jesus grow a new branch on your family tree. Or, if necessary, let Jesus start an entirely different tree through you.
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This is a conversation that may bring up pain in you. Feel free to reach out for a private conversation if you need to walk through this with someone.
While fully God, Jesus was also fully human. His humanness was incarnated in the masculine. Understanding who Jesus was as a man provides insight into how men can live out and model masculine characteristics as created by God.
I’m beginning a new series called The Jesus Way of Masculinity. While fully God, Jesus was also fully human. His humanness was incarnated in the masculine. Understanding who Jesus was as a man provides insight into how men can live out and model masculine characteristics as created by God.
The place where we begin, though, is not with Jesus. We’ll begin with Adam. The Genesis narrative describes “first things.” These first actions of God detail his creative design from chaos to order. Included in God’s creative design are people, specifically, male and female. Both are created as equal image bearers of God. Both sexes speak something about God’s nature. And. Both sexes reveal something about their responsibilities in creation.
The male – Adam had a defined responsibility to work alongside God in creation. Prior to fulfilling his responsibilities, it’s important to see that Adam’s entire life was given to him as a gift from God. Genesis 2:7 (NIV) reads, “Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” This life-giving breath of God communicates that Adam’s entire life was predicated on the life given to him by the Creator. This life-giving breath suggests Adam’s inheritance as a son of God and led to his responsibilities in creation. Genesis chapter 2 highlights Adam’s role:
His responsibilities occur in a defined place – the Garden
He was to work and care for the Garden
He was responsible for his obedience to God’s commands
He named the animals
He recognized Eve as part of himself
He committed himself to her
We see Adam as being clearly created by God for a purpose. He was to manage God’s place on the earth, rule over creation (naming of animals), and nurture his relationships. All of this was intended to honor God in the way that Adam (and Eve) were the image bearers of God in the Garden and on Earth.
Very shortly, though, we discover that the original order was destroyed by original sin. Adam failed to fulfill his responsibility to nurture his wife and nurture his dominion over the earth instead choosing to rebel against God’s design. The rest of the story involves banishment and the beginning of God’s redemptive story climaxing in the incarnation of Jesus.
In Romans 5:12-21, the Apostle Paul contrasts the roles of Adam and Jesus. Adam failed to fulfill his image-bearing role which led to the “death” of all of creation. Jesus, and his “one righteous act” (5:18) bring justification. In other words, Jesus’ obedience had the potential to bring life back to all of creation. In short, I would suggest that Jesus, as the image-bearer of God, fulfilled the things at which Adam failed.
In general, we can apply this to the masculine role – you are an image bearer of God. Certainly, this applies to women as well. Genesis 1 seems to be clear on this reality. But men cannot shirk this responsibility. The absence of men as image bearers of God in creation is a troubling reality in the 21st century. Many men flee any conversation about God or Christianity. Maybe this has occurred because of the deep feminization of the church and Christianity, but it’s not an excuse.
As an image bearer, men are called to take up the responsibility for revealing the presence of God in every facet of society and take back the ground lost to the enemy. This isn’t militant, nor is it Dominion Theology. It is the created nature of men, who, redeemed by Jesus and filled with the Holy Spirit, fulfilling the intended purpose of the masculine.
So, an initial aspect of fulfilling the Jesus Way of Masculinity begins with a Christian man owning his call as an image-bearer of God and exerting influence over the direction of creation for the glory of God and the coming of the Kingdom.
Group coaching is an excellent resource for the leadership development of pastors.
“When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life.”
Brenda Ueland
Group coaching is a beautiful and powerful way to help coachees learn from others with similar needs and experiences. Jennifer Britton suggests, “This peer learning is often as important as the interaction with the coach. Many clients find coaching in a group puts them “less on the spot,” giving them more time to reflect and integrate their insights.”[1] In this model, coachees receive support from the coach and one another.
What Does the Bible Teach about Group Coaching?
While the Bible never directly speaks to group coaching, it offers significant structure about encouraging and supporting one another. For example, fifty-nine “one another” statements exist in the New Testament. We may do these behaviors out of an overflow of our relationship with Jesus, but other people must be involved to fulfill them. Group coaching provides a perfect setting for obedience to these commands. For instance, Jesus teaches his followers to “love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34, New International Version). This commandment plays out perfectly as group members seek and work toward loving and encouraging one another toward resolutions of problems, healthy relationships, and helpful problem-solving.
Another helpful example of applying the “one-another” statements to group coaching comes to us from Colossians 3:16. As Paul reminds the church that they are, indeed, one body, he calls them to “let the message of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom…” (Colossians 3:16, New International Version). Pastors, as church leaders, are still part of the body of Christ. Unfortunately, they are not often the recipients of teaching and admonishment. Group coaching allows these leaders to let down their guard and receive support, education, and counsel from colleagues experiencing similar roadblocks in ministry. The group coaches and cheers one another to God’s best.
What Is Group Coaching?
Group coaching occurs when a coach takes a group of individuals through a coaching journey together to achieve a desired outcome. There is a specific energy and group wisdom in group coaching compared to one-on-one sessions. This energy and wisdom can rapidly help group members achieve their goals. The group becomes a shared learning space where the members can learn from one another. To be clear, coaching groups is not just about getting a bunch of people together and then coaching them for 5 minutes each until everyone has had a turn. Instead, it is the delicate balance of allowing each member to achieve their resolution and providing an overarching direction for the group.
What Are the Benefits of Group Coaching?
The Evercoach organization reminds us that “coaching groups are about more than the act of coaching and being coached. It’s about the connection, communication, and community that comes from not just you interacting with your clients, but group members interacting with each other.”[2] This is the sweet spot. Evercoach suggests that some of the benefits of the group coaching model include the following.[3]
1. Problem-Solving. When group members get together to work on an issue that concerns all of them, the solution will be better because of the multiple viewpoints and perspectives in the room.
2. Higher Engagement. More people interacting with each other will lead to more positive engagement for the group members and more positive results for them from the coaching sessions.
3. Constant Improvement. Group coaching leads to overall improvement for all the group members over time, as the members will be helping each other achieve their goals and collectively work together.
Becoming a Powerful and Transformative Group Coach
A powerful and transformative group coach must employ a model focused on steering every session in the right direction. One of the first skills a group coach needs is setting group goals. A good group coach sits down with the clients and helps them identify and develop their plans, individually and as a group. This promotes a collaborative effort within the group to work together towards their goals with a clear picture in their minds. Secondly, a powerful and transformative group coach facilitates communication. In every group, there are multiple people with very different personalities. A good group coach finds a way to make everyone comfortable enough to open up and communicate. Finally, the group coaching sessions’ main goal is for the group members to grow and work together. So, it is essential that the group coach improves relationships within the group and promotes the best environment possible.
How To Lead Powerful and Transformative Group Coaching Sessions
Group Coaching has five key characteristics that bring the group together and move them forward. First, the group comes together around a shared problem. In my personal experience facilitating group coaching with pastors, their shared problem was a lack of leadership development. The group came together to explore and receive coaching around resolving their need. Each coaching session revolved around a specific ministry problem whose resolution increased the leadership capacity of each group member. Secondly, to solve a problem, group coaching encourages members to ask powerful questions. Powerful coaches help promote a culture of introspection and clear reasoning by asking questions. Thirdly, the coach must teach the group to think of solutions themselves and take action. As each member in the group grows and learns, this benefits the entire group as they collaborate in their effort. They can then apply these learnings outside the group coaching sessions, and continue their growth. Through all of this, the coach assumes a secondary position in the group. While they have a crucial role in ensuring everything goes smoothly, the coach eventually transfers the responsibility to the group so the members can learn to trust themselves.
In an efficient way, here’s how I have used this process in my group coaching experience. The group comes together around a specific teaching topic at the designated time. For example, one of the best topics for coaching pastors revolves around self-care. This area is often a large gap for clergy. At the beginning of the session, this theme was announced, and teaching occurred, offering suggestions for prioritizing the coachee’s needs in ministry. Following the learning, the coachees were asked to clearly define what they wrestle with regarding self-care. After clearly defining the problem, the group was asked to reflect upon their current reality. How is this problem affecting their ministry, family, or self? What obstacles keep them from fully realizing the life and experience they want? Finally, the group worked to develop a roadmap toward achieving their preferred future. Amid all this reflection and conversation, group members listened to, commiserated with, and offered solutions to help one another grow beyond the obstacles to fulfilling their best life. While all this was happening, the coach kept the group on track through all the essential steps.
Final Thoughts
Group coaching is an excellent resource for the leadership development of pastors. The process provides collegiality, shared wisdom, helpful accountability, and the fulfillment of the biblical admonishment to care for one another. Key to the whole process, however, is the willingness of the coach to take a secondary role. They do not make transformation happen. Coaches guide the group, trust the process, and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to and among the participants masterfully.
Dr. Ron Geisler 