Coaching – Dr. Ron Geisler

Who Is the Captain of Your Soul?

In a world that celebrates self-made men—the guy who grinds harder, achieves more, and bows to no one—there’s a famous line that has inspired countless people: “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”

You probably recognize it from the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley. It’s a defiant declaration of human strength in the face of suffering. Henley wrote it from a hospital bed, battling an illness that had already cost him a leg. Many men admire that grit. I get it. Something is appealing about standing unconquered, steering your own ship no matter the storm.

But here’s the truth I’ve seen in coaching middle-aged Christian men like you: when we insist on being the sole captain of our souls, we often end up shipwrecked. Oscar Wilde, reflecting on his own downfall in De Profundis, admitted as much: “I ceased to be lord over myself. I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did not know it.” He had chased pleasure and self-rule, only to find it led to ruin.

The reality is, most men today aren’t even aware who’s steering their inner ship. We pour our energy into careers, families, hobbies, and ministry—building impressive public lives—while our private world, our soul, lies neglected and disordered. Like Gordon MacDonald warns in Ordering Your Private World, if we don’t cultivate strength on the inside, our outer lives will eventually collapse.

Think about it: If someone asked you today, “How is it with your soul?”—a question John Wesley used to hold his people accountable—would you have a real answer? Or would you pause, clueless, because no one’s ever pressed you there? Too many good Christian men are left stammering, because we’ve never learned to tend the garden of our inner lives.

Biblical masculinity isn’t about self-mastery in isolation. It’s about strength under authority—surrendering the captain’s wheel to Jesus Christ, the true Lord of our souls. When we do that, we regain purpose, a deep connection with God and others, and the resilience to lead our families and communities with integrity.

One Simple Step to Begin Ordering Your Private World

You don’t need a complete overhaul today. Start with one actionable practice that any man can do immediately: Set aside 10 minutes each morning for unhurried time with God in Scripture and prayer, specifically asking Him, “How is it with my soul, Lord?”

Here’s how to do it right now:

Find a quiet spot—before the demands of the day hit. No phone, no distractions.
Read a short passage—start with a Psalm (like Psalm 139 or 51) or a few verses from the Gospels.
Pray honestly—Invite Jesus to search your heart. Speak the question out loud: “Lord, how is it with my soul today?” Then listen. Journal what comes up: gratitude, sin to confess, fears, joys, or just silence.
End by surrendering—Pray something like: “Jesus, You are the Captain of my soul. Order my inner world today for Your glory.”

This isn’t optional soul-care fluff. It’s the foundation of thriving in biblical masculinity. When your private world is ordered around Christ, you’ll lead with clearer purpose, love your wife and kids from overflow rather than exhaustion, and stand firm when culture pressures you to compromise.

The unconquerable soul isn’t the one that defies God—it’s the one submitted to Him. Take that first step tomorrow morning. Regain command by handing the wheel to the One who calms the storms.

You’ve got this, because He’s got you.

Overcome Burnout: Rediscover Your Purpose as a Man of God

You’re not a victim! Don’t be the guy who wakes up every morning in a living hell like this:

…every morning he wakes up hollow, staring at a family that no longer looks to him for strength, carrying the crushing shame of knowing he’s failing God’s calling as a husband and father—trapped in regret, isolation, and the terrifying realization that his legacy will be one of wasted potential and broken relationships.

What if there was a better way?

Your home becomes a place of joy, unity, and godly power; your work gains eternal purpose; your prayers carry fire; and you walk with unshakeable confidence knowing you are the man God created you to be—fully alive, deeply honored, and leaving a legacy that echoes into eternity.

I’ve walked through the valley of burnout myself and know the agony of losing my fire. God pulled me out and commanded me to pull others out too, and because the enemy is aggressively destroying Christian men and families—I refuse to stand by while that happens.

God has a great plan for you. Let’s take the next 8 weeks to focus on living out God’s best for you. Email, “REBOUND” to ron@reboundlifecoaching.com, and we’ll get started.

Say Yes to God

When a man yields himself to God with complete obedience, God can do great things through him.

God can use the man who is willing to be obedient. It’s simple: listen and obey.

The confirmation of this reality is all over the pages of the Bible. Especially Daniel.

Daniel was a Jewish young man from Judah’s nobility. He was taken captive to Babylon around 605 BC. This occurred when King Nebuchadnezzar conquered Jerusalem. He was selected for training to serve in the Babylonian royal court. His friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were also chosen. They were picked because of their intelligence, appearance, and aptitude (Daniel 1:3-6).

Throughout his long life, Daniel consistently demonstrated extraordinary obedience. He showed unwavering loyalty to God, even when it directly threatened his life and career.

Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the king’s rich food and wine, which violated Jewish dietary laws. Instead, he asked for vegetables and water. God blessed him and his friends with superior health and wisdom (Daniel 1:8-17).

More importantly, Daniel developed a disciplined life of prayer. We know that he prayed three times a day. He gave thanks to God and knelt in front of his open window facing toward Jerusalem. This was not a casual habit. It was a deliberate act of worship. It served as a remembrance of God’s covenant promises, even while living in a pagan empire.

By the time Darius ruled, Daniel was well over 80 years old. He had risen to one of the three highest positions in the kingdom. King Darius even planned to set him over the entire realm because “an excellent spirit was in him” (Daniel 6:3).

This provoked jealousy among the other high officials. They looked for any corruption or failure in Daniel but could find none—he was completely faithful and honest. Their only choice was to attack him based on his faith.

They deceived King Darius into signing an irrevocable decree. For the next 30 days, anyone praying to or worshiping a god or human being, other than the king, would face dire consequences. They would be thrown into a den of lions (Daniel 6:6-9). This was a deliberate trap designed to exploit Daniel’s known devotion to God.

As soon as Daniel learned that the decree had been signed, he went home, opened his windows toward Jerusalem as usual, knelt down, and prayed and gave thanks to God three times that day—just as he had always done (Daniel 6:10).

He did not hide.
He did not reduce his prayers to whispers.
He did not compromise even slightly.

Daniel chose open, defiant obedience to God over self-preservation and obedience to an unjust human law. He knew the consequence was almost certain death. Yet, he considered faithfulness to God more important than his position, his reputation, or even his life.

Daniel was arrested. The king was deeply distressed and attempted to find a legal loophole. However, the law could not be changed. Daniel was thrown into the den of lions. The king spent a sleepless night fasting and, at dawn, ran to the den and called out in anguish, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?” (Daniel 6:20).

Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I done any wrong before you, Your Majesty” (Daniel 6:21-22).

God miraculously preserved Daniel all night. When he was lifted out unharmed, King Darius threw the schemers and their families into the den instead, and the lions quickly crushed them.

Darius issued a new decree that in every part of his kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel, “for he is the living God and he endures forever… He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions” (Daniel 6:26-27).

Daniel’s conviction was unwavering. He believed that prayer and worship belong to God alone, no matter what an earthly ruler demands. This conviction became one of the greatest testimonies in Scripture of courageous faith under pressure.

When a man yields himself to God with complete obedience, God can do great things through him. The God who shut the lions’ mouths is still capable of delivering those who stand firm for Him.

You Are What You Feed

Unless the patterns are broken, we will continue to feed the old wolf…

At what point do you get tired of pretending? At this age, you promised yourself that you would become the man your family and your future self could respect. But you keep returning to the same old patterns and habits like a dog returning to its vomit.

One day, an old Cherokee man sits down with his grandson to teach him about life.

“A fight is going on inside of me,” he says to the boy. “It’s a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil – he is full of rage, jealousy, arrogance, greed, sorrow, regret, lies, laziness, and self-pity.”

He continues, “The other is good – he is filled with love, joy, peace, generosity, truth, empathy, courage, humility, and faith. This same fight is going on inside the hearts of everyone, including you.”

The grandson thinks about this for a few minutes and then asks his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replies, “The one you feed.”

Unless the patterns are broken, we will continue to feed the old wolf and act as we did in our 20s and 30s. So let’s be honest: you are succeeding in your career, your health, even your marriage, but your self-control is wrecked. Anger outbursts. Scrolling porn addiction. Envious of other guys.

We think, “I should have handled this by now.” That’s shame talking, and shame keeps guys stuck. You’re not broken. It’s dopamine! Only about 5% of men actually deal with their old, broken patterns and habits. Let’s treat this like the high-performance issue it is. We don’t shame a Ferrari for needing premium fuel; we give it what it runs on. At midlife, we need some new non-negotiables.

Environment beats willpower every single time. You need a new system to break old habits. Your integrity is counting on it. High performers can’t rely solely on willpower. You’ll need to pre-decide and build some accountability into your life. Transparency is key.

Here’s a plan to implement right now.

Your mind is running on junk – endless feeds, outrage clicks, soft-core everywhere. Starting tomorrow, initiate 30 minutes of something that builds you up; Scripture, high-level podcast, silence, whatever – but zero social media, zero news, zero stimulation that drags you down. You’re creating space for the Holy Spirit to rewire your neural pathways. Thirty minutes.

Now, the scary part: radical honesty with one other man. Not a therapist (although that’s great), not your wife yet (too much risk), but one brother who’s been in the arena. You’re going to text him today and say, “I need an accountability partner for integrity. Can we talk 10 minutes a week?” Confession isn’t weakness; it’s the fastest way to cut shame off at the knees and get real momentum.

It’s about becoming a man who refuses to let his appetites run his life. You do these and you won’t recognize yourself in 30 days.

I’m called to help men make these kinds of life changes and recreate themselves in ways their family and future self can respect. If this post has your name written all over it, reach out, and we can work together to make this second half something you can be proud of.

How Men Conquer the Silent Struggle

Somewhere along the way, you look in the mirror and go, “Wait… is this it?” And yeah, there’s this quiet fight happening inside. Nobody at work or even at church really talks about it out loud. Like something’s trying to steal your soul one compromise at a time.

There’s a war on the masculine soul.

You hit that age—mid-40s, maybe 50s—where you wake up some days and it feels like everything’s pulling at you. Work’s not what it used to be. The kids are growing or gone. The body doesn’t bounce back like it once did. Somewhere along the way, you look in the mirror and go, “Wait… is this it?” And yeah, there’s this quiet fight happening inside. Nobody at work or even at church really talks about it out loud. Like something’s trying to steal your soul one compromise at a time.

Scripture’s not shy about it. Paul says we’re not wrestling against people or circumstances. We’re up against powers and principalities. These are spiritual forces that hate everything God’s doing in us (Ephesians 6). Peter calls the devil a roaring lion just looking for someone to devour. And let’s be real, middle-aged men are prime rib on his menu right now.

He hits us with stuff like:

“You’re irrelevant now. Your best years are behind you.”
“Nobody would notice one little look, one little cheat, one little outburst.”
“You’re too tired for prayer, too busy for the Word, too burned out for real fellowship.”

And before you know it, you’re just drifting. You go through the motions and still show up on Sunday. The fire’s down to embers.

So here’s what I’ve been thinking about:

First thing—call it what it is. This isn’t just stress or a midlife slump. This is war. The enemy’s got a file on you—he knows exactly where you’re weak. Lust? Pride? Anger? Greed? Discouragement? Whatever it is, name it out loud to God. Get brutally honest in prayer. You can even grab a notebook and write it down. “Here’s where I’m getting hit the hardest right now.”

Once you see the battlefield for what it is, you stop fighting the symptoms. You start fighting the real enemy. And the best news? We’re not left defenseless. We’ve got the full armor, the Word, the Spirit, and a Savior who already crushed the serpent’s head.

You’re not alone in this. We can do this—one day, one honest prayer, one stand at a time.

God’s Not Done with You, Yet

You are a remarkable work in progress.

Every man undergoes this journey, though not all choose to embrace the evolution that comes with it. Some may cling tightly to the past, feeling the echoes of their glory days in high school, forever trapped in a time when life felt simpler. They resist growth, unaware of the incredible potential that lies ahead. But that’s not your story.

You stand ready to welcome the journey of self-improvement. You aspire to be not only a better husband and father but also an inspiring grandfather. You’re determined to fill this season of your life with wisdom, purpose, and thoughtful direction. It’s true that you may have stumbled in the past—welcome to life! What lies ahead is a chance to rise stronger, wiser, and more fulfilled.

This is your moment. You are prepared to do the hard work of reinvention, to breathe life into dreams that may have been put on hold. You refuse to let regret shape your future. Instead, you want to command the respect of your wife, earn the admiration of your adult children, and transform your work into a mission that resonates with significance and joy.

That’s why I have developed the Rebound Process: to help men like you thrive as they navigate the second half of life. If you’re a Christian man over 50 seeking more fulfillment in this next chapter, let’s connect. Together, we’ll craft a clear mission that reflects your deepest values and establish a roadmap of actionable steps to get you there.

Time waits for no one, and as we look ahead, let’s make 2026 a remarkable turning point. Don’t just hope for a better future—let’s create it together! Reach out to me, and let’s embark on this transformative journey. Your best days are yet to come!

Reclaiming Masculinity: Image Bearers of God in the 21st Century

As image bearers, men are called to take responsibility for revealing God’s presence in every facet of society. This call reflects the created nature of men who, redeemed by Jesus and filled with the Holy Spirit, are fulfilling their intended masculine purpose.

While Jesus was fully God, He was also fully human. His humanity was expressed in the masculine. Understanding who Jesus was as a man provides insight into how men can embody and demonstrate masculine characteristics as designed by God.

However, we will not begin with Jesus. Instead, we’ll start with Adam. The Genesis narrative describes “first things,” detailing God’s creative design as He brings order from chaos. This design includes people, specifically, both male and female, created as equal image bearers of God. Each sex reflects aspects of God’s nature and responsibilities in creation.

Adam, the first man, had a defined responsibility to work alongside God in creation. Before he could fulfill these responsibilities, it’s essential to recognize that Adam’s entire existence was a gift from God. Genesis 2:7 (NIV) states, “Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” This life-giving breath from God signifies that Adam’s life depended on the Creator’s life-giving action. This breath suggests Adam’s inheritance as a son of God and leads to his responsibilities in creation. Genesis chapter 2 highlights Adam’s role:

– His responsibilities were centered in a defined place – the Garden.

– He was tasked with working in and caring for the Garden.

– He was responsible for his obedience to God’s commands.

– He named the animals.

– He recognized Eve as part of himself.

– He committed himself to her.

Adam was clearly created by God for a purpose: to manage God’s creation on Earth, rule over it (by naming the animals), and nurture his relationships. All of this was intended to honor God, showing that Adam and Eve were image bearers of God in the Garden and on Earth.

However, we soon discover that this original order was disrupted by original sin. Adam failed to nurture his wife and his dominion over the Earth, choosing instead to rebel against God’s design. The rest of the narrative involves their banishment and the beginning of God’s redemptive story, culminating in the incarnation of Jesus.

In Romans 5:12-21, the Apostle Paul contrasts the roles of Adam and Jesus. Adam’s failure to fulfill his image-bearing role led to the “death” of all creation. In contrast, Jesus, through His “one righteous act” (5:18), brings justification, which has the potential to restore life to all creation. In essence, Jesus, as the image-bearer of God, succeeded where Adam failed.

This concept generally applies to the masculine role: you are an image bearer of God. While this applies to women as well—Genesis 1 reinforces this truth—men cannot evade this responsibility. The absence of men acting as image bearers of God in creation is a concerning reality in the 21st century. Many men shy away from conversations about God or Christianity. This avoidance may stem from the deep feminization of the church and Christianity, but such a circumstance is not an excuse.

As image bearers, men are called to take responsibility for revealing God’s presence in every facet of society and reclaiming the ground lost to the enemy. This call is not militant, nor does it adhere to Dominion Theology; it reflects the created nature of men who, redeemed by Jesus and filled with the Holy Spirit, are fulfilling their intended masculine purpose.

Embracing Jesus’ way of masculinity begins with Christian men owning their identity as image bearers of God and influencing the direction of creation for the glory of God and the advancement of His Kingdom.

Your Boys Shall Be Kings

Boys need strong masculine influence, especially from their fathers. But, the truth is, most men must also acknowledge their lack of strong, influential fathers.

I’m republishing my article from a few years ago. I think it still resonates.

_________

There is a war on the masculine soul. Many boys are growing up with no real masculine influence. Gender confusion is rising. In many places (homes, offices, institutional churches), a Feminist worldview is blocking the male energy. Just within the last year or two, a father in Texas lost his lawsuit to keep his son’s mother from raising the boy as a female. Before we fully see the damage among men and boys in our Western culture, it may be another generation.

Boys need strong masculine influence, especially from their fathers. But, the truth is, most men must also acknowledge their lack of strong, influential fathers.

You may regret that your dad was absent from your development. You may have missed the relationship you saw other boys have with their dads. Maybe you wished that your dad threw a ball with you, listened to your questions about girls or cars, or cared about what you wanted to be when you grew up.

For some men, there is a dad-shaped hole in their lives. John Eldredge writes, “Every boy on his journey to becoming a man takes an arrow in the center of his heart, in the place of his strength. Because the wound is rarely discussed and rarely healed, every man carries a wound. And the wound is nearly always given by his father.”

During the early quarantine of the Covid pandemic, my youngest son took up skateboarding. He got pretty good. So for Christmas, he wanted a snowboard. I was hesitant. He’d never snowboarded before. He watched some YouTubers and thought it would be fun. I told him it was nothing like skateboarding. But he was determined.

So, he got a snowboard.

That weekend we hit the slopes. He hurried to the ski lift and rode it up a moderate hill. Until then, he had only practiced on a small hill in our yard. This slope was formidable for a beginner. He stepped onto his board and nudged to the edge of the mountain. As I watched from below, I saw him push off…and fall! Then I saw him get up, get his balance and go again. He fell. He fell just about all the way down the hill.

When he reached the bottom, I could see frustration and disappointment on his face. He had forgotten how long it took him to balance his skateboard and learn those techniques. I could see the disconnect in his eyes. “I can skate. Why isn’t it working on slopes?”

As he sat at the bottom of the hill, I knew this was an influential moment. So rather than an “I told you so,” I said, “Good try.” His response? “I think I’ll try a smaller hill.” I agreed. He boarded for two hours. Falling often. But encouraged frequently. “Bend your knees. Keep your head up. Give it another try.” By the following weekend, he was cruising! He returned to the hill that gave him his first defeat and boarded down without falling! He’s getting better.

What would have happened if I did say, “I told you so. You’ll never get this. Pack it in!” Those words would have been an arrow through his heart. He would live with a deep wound.

Masculinity is bestowed from one man to another. From a man to a boy. From a father to a son. A boy learns who he is and what he’s got from a man. He cannot learn it from a woman. He cannot learn it from other boys. The father must bless his son, conferring masculinity upon him. Then boys will become kings.

A sad reality is that many men are walking around trying to find the blessing their father never gave them. Men are looking for help, respect, and guidance – a picture of real masculinity – never given to them, thus crippling their growth from boyhood to manhood. You may be one of those men.

The curse can stop with you! You may be crippled, creeping through life without your father’s blessing. That hurts! It can be undone but will require focused work and significant mentoring by other men. But you must not pass this on to your sons. Stop the bleeding. Bless your boy.

How will you get this done? Here’s what’s always worked. Use this as a starting point.

Time spent makes a world of difference. Looking back on my own life, I have few memories of time spent with my father.

Some of the most recent research suggests that the average dad spends seven minutes daily on focused attention. That’s not going to get it done! Absenteeism may cause your son to feel emotionally distressed, guilty, or sad. Over time, a lack of attention could lead your son into risky behavior.

Blaze some trails together. Share an adventure. Walking through the woods is bonding time well spent. In ancient cultures, there was the belief that a boy only becomes a man through ritual and effort. There is a story from one tribal tradition where the men take the boys away for initiation. They are taken away from their mothers and into the woods. When he returns, the mother pretends not to know her son and asks to be introduced to “this young man.” What a beautiful picture of passage from boyhood into manhood. The son moves from his mother’s world to his father’s world.

Show them how to be strong. My boys loved the wrestling matches on the living room floor when they were younger. They’d come and jump on me, hungering for a challenge and physical touch. They’d try and pin me down. As they got older (and stronger), it was arm wrestling. Boys love to test their strength.

Your strength will inspire them. They’ll care for themselves in the way they see you care for yourself. Your strength and confidence will inspire them.

Help them discover their purpose. We no longer have the gift of apprenticeship built into our culture. There were days when boys could learn a valuable craft that would produce a remarkable career. But boys still need help discovering their gifts and purpose.

We talk about this often in my house. We see the value not only in education but in living life with purpose, finding a way to do what you love pivoting when necessary. My boys have always been encouraged to try many new experiences. Sometimes their choices have surprised me, but I appreciate their willingness to try.

The war on the masculine soul is real. Boys and men are on the front line every day. We are in the battle whether we want to be or not. Save your son and give him a fighting chance!

A boy will never be a man if his masculinity is stripped from him. The world is full of men who have never been initiated into manhood. Don’t miss the chance you have.

The Boy I Was, the Man I Will Be

Reflection is a vital practice, especially at this stage of life. Many men lose themselves in the routine of daily life. They forget to assess who they are. They also forget to evaluate who they want to be. Don’t let that be your story.

A Call to Action for Men in the Second Half of Life

As I recently went through my old journals, I was flooded with memories and reflections. My entries began in 1989 when I was twenty. Back then, I was just a boy on the verge of becoming a man, filled with dreams and optimism. I hadn’t journaled before. The encouragement of Christian friends inspired me to put pen to paper. This act would become a profound part of my growth.

Today, I reflect on those early entries through the lens of my experiences. I realize that this journey has shaped me. I am still becoming the man I aspire to be. I want to share some insights with you. They may inspire your own journey. You are navigating this important stage of life.

– Rekindle Your Innocence: Remember the days when life felt simpler. Your faith was untainted by the complexities of adulthood. Embrace that innocence again! It’s never too late to pursue dreams with that same fervor and clarity. Let go of the cynicism that may have crept in over the years.

– Revisit Your Commitment: Think back to your early passion—when your commitment to your beliefs and values was fresh. That fire is still within you, waiting to be reignited. Draw strength from your values and let them guide your actions today.

– Be Bold in Your Pursuits: Life can present challenges that feel daunting. Now is not the time to retreat. Embrace your calling with courage. The strength gained through experience equips you to take bold risks and pursue your purpose with confidence.

– Stay Humble and Teachable: The learning never stops. Be open to the lessons that life presents. Allow yourself to grow in wisdom, and stay eager for the things that add depth and meaning to your life.

As I reflected on my past, I confronted the reality that my perspective has shifted over time. While the challenges I’ve faced have often led to cynicism, those experiences have profoundly shaped me. Yet, with awareness comes empowerment—the opportunity to change direction.

Reading through my journals reignited a desire within me to reclaim the passion I had in my youth. If I’m to thrive in the next chapter of my life, it’s time to awaken from the slumber of complacency. I am determined to shed negativity. I will embrace a renewed sense of holiness. This is not a quiet meekness but a fiery passion. It propels me toward my calling.

Think of resilience—like Russell Crowe in Robin Hood. As he rises to face challenges, we too can make a commitment. We can “rise and rise again until lambs become lions” in this crucial part of our lives.

So here’s my challenge to you: Start journaling if you haven’t already. Chronicle your thoughts, aspirations, and the lessons learned along the way. Revisit those entries and track your personal growth. Pay close attention to what ignites your passion and blends seamlessly with your purpose. If you find yourself drifting off course, it’s time to make some changes.

You are worth the effort. Reclaim those dreams from your youth, and embrace the man you are destined to become.

Let go of the baggage that has accumulated over the years. Confess your struggles, seek forgiveness, and allow the Holy Spirit to awaken the fire within you. If you’ve lost your path, now is the moment to remember who you once wanted to be. Take the time to make a plan, seek guidance, and take that all-important first step.

Let’s rise together, not just for ourselves but for the lives we have yet to touch—rise and rise again!

Today’s simple thought…

Men in the second half of life find themselves uniquely positioned to keep their integrity and model discipleship for younger followers of Jesus.

Let me know what you think.

One Simple Step to Begin Ordering Your Private World

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