Category: men

The Jesus Way of Masculinity

Jesus changed the trajectory of his family tree, and he can work with you to change your course. You can say NO to the past and let Jesus recreate something different through you. He can save you and give your family a new story.

Part 2: Everyone has a past. How will you make a new future?

Liar.

Cheater.

Thief.

Incestuous.

Prostitute.

Adulterer.

Murderer.

Idolater.

This is not a list of the characteristics of people we would want to associate with. But people with these characteristics appeared in Jesus’ family tree (see Matthew 1). You and I can choose many things but can’t choose our family.

I’ve watched many men remain trapped in the story of their past. I watched this play with my own family. I grew up in a blue-collar home. I’m proud because it taught me many things about life, working hard, and being responsible. But it also caused me to believe a lot of crap that followed me around for far too long.

My family tree convinced me that it was my lot always to be financially broke. My family tree convinced me I would never be better or escape the routine of hard labor. I would never become successful. I would labor until my body eventually gave out. Even though it was never said out loud, I learned that life was hard and could never rise above my station. The sins and circumstances of previous generations would continue the curse on me and my legacy through alcoholism, gambling, and abuse.

Have you found yourself in this trap?

A man’s past can betray his potential.

I think this is why I like reading Jesus’ genealogy. When reading the Bible, most people skip over this part of Matthew 1. It seems like a list of hard-to-pronounce names that have no bearing on the rest of the story. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Jesus’ family tree makes all the difference and influences who Jesus is.

Jesus’ family tree recognizes that God uses all sorts of people and situations to shape the future. While painful, the good and the bad of the past are relevant. Jesus’ history shaped him and his mission.

There’s much theology here that we don’t have time to explore but let me say this: Jesus redeemed his past and made a new and different future. And, through Jesus, this can happen for you, too.

Matthew’s Gospel, in verse 21, tells us, “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.” The name “Jesus” literally means “the LORD saves.” This is critically important.

Jesus saves you from your past and allows you to create a new future. He redeems all the garbage that can follow you through life, causing trauma and dysfunction. Jesus never ignores the past, but he can and will create a new family tree branch out of you.

Here’s a silly story from my past that proves this. I grew up in a family that swore and cussed often. By often, I mean all the time! Every other word out of the mouths of men in my family was dirty and ugly. Usually, they would include taking the LORD’s name in vain. It never bothered me because it was all I knew.

When I was 16, I started following Jesus. I never preached to my family. They could see a change in me. But what I began noticing is that the swearing and cussing died down. I never complained about it or spoke against it, but something happened. I believe God convicted them of their language, and he began to change them. Now, I rarely hear the men of my family of origin swear.

Hopefully, God is redeeming and growing a new branch through my family.

Jesus changed the trajectory of his family tree, and he can work with you to change your course. You can say NO to the past and let Jesus recreate something different through you. He can save you and give your family a new story.

Here’s why I think this is so important in the larger conversation of masculinity. Far too often, men believe that our masculinity is tied to the past. We must be like our dads or grandfathers. Sometimes this is great. You might have healthy male role models and want to pass on their influence. Often, many don’t. To you, I say discover a new future in Jesus and break the broken and painful cycles of the past. Let Jesus grow a new branch on your family tree. Or, if necessary, let Jesus start an entirely different tree through you.

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This is a conversation that may bring up pain in you. Feel free to reach out for a private conversation if you need to walk through this with someone.  

The Jesus Way of Masculinity

While fully God, Jesus was also fully human. His humanness was incarnated in the masculine. Understanding who Jesus was as a man provides insight into how men can live out and model masculine characteristics as created by God.

I’m beginning a new series called The Jesus Way of Masculinity. While fully God, Jesus was also fully human. His humanness was incarnated in the masculine. Understanding who Jesus was as a man provides insight into how men can live out and model masculine characteristics as created by God.

The place where we begin, though, is not with Jesus. We’ll begin with Adam. The Genesis narrative describes “first things.” These first actions of God detail his creative design from chaos to order. Included in God’s creative design are people, specifically, male and female. Both are created as equal image bearers of God. Both sexes speak something about God’s nature. And. Both sexes reveal something about their responsibilities in creation.

The male – Adam had a defined responsibility to work alongside God in creation. Prior to fulfilling his responsibilities, it’s important to see that Adam’s entire life was given to him as a gift from God. Genesis 2:7 (NIV) reads, “Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” This life-giving breath of God communicates that Adam’s entire life was predicated on the life given to him by the Creator. This life-giving breath suggests Adam’s inheritance as a son of God and led to his responsibilities in creation. Genesis chapter 2 highlights Adam’s role:

  • His responsibilities occur in a defined place – the Garden
  • He was to work and care for the Garden
  • He was responsible for his obedience to God’s commands
  • He named the animals
  • He recognized Eve as part of himself
  • He committed himself to her

We see Adam as being clearly created by God for a purpose. He was to manage God’s place on the earth, rule over creation (naming of animals), and nurture his relationships. All of this was intended to honor God in the way that Adam (and Eve) were the image bearers of God in the Garden and on Earth.

Very shortly, though, we discover that the original order was destroyed by original sin. Adam failed to fulfill his responsibility to nurture his wife and nurture his dominion over the earth instead choosing to rebel against God’s design. The rest of the story involves banishment and the beginning of God’s redemptive story climaxing in the incarnation of Jesus.

In Romans 5:12-21, the Apostle Paul contrasts the roles of Adam and Jesus. Adam failed to fulfill his image-bearing role which led to the “death” of all of creation. Jesus, and his “one righteous act” (5:18) bring justification. In other words, Jesus’ obedience had the potential to bring life back to all of creation. In short, I would suggest that Jesus, as the image-bearer of God, fulfilled the things at which Adam failed.

In general, we can apply this to the masculine role – you are an image bearer of God. Certainly, this applies to women as well. Genesis 1 seems to be clear on this reality.  But men cannot shirk this responsibility. The absence of men as image bearers of God in creation is a troubling reality in the 21st century. Many men flee any conversation about God or Christianity. Maybe this has occurred because of the deep feminization of the church and Christianity, but it’s not an excuse.

As an image bearer, men are called to take up the responsibility for revealing the presence of God in every facet of society and take back the ground lost to the enemy. This isn’t militant, nor is it Dominion Theology. It is the created nature of men, who, redeemed by Jesus and filled with the Holy Spirit, fulfilling the intended purpose of the masculine.

So, an initial aspect of fulfilling the Jesus Way of Masculinity begins with a Christian man owning his call as an image-bearer of God and exerting influence over the direction of creation for the glory of God and the coming of the Kingdom.

Who Gave You Permission?

Core values are your fixed position. The consistent and reliable way you respond time after time. They are your north star. Whether you are aware of them or not, core values will always show up in your actions and decisions.

You need a line in the sand.

When I was younger and starting a career I didn’t have a line in the sand. I was too busy trying to impress my boss, my co-workers, and the people I served. I would do whatever they wanted. My mission was squashed day after day. I was miserable. I felt like I couldn’t say “no.” And I really couldn’t. I didn’t know what I stood for.

I didn’t know my line in the sand.

One of my favorite presidents and historical leaders is John Adams. He was the philosopher and idea man behind the American Revolution. After becoming the second president of the United States, Adams revealed the values he used as guiderails. He wrote, “I must study politics and war, so my sons may have liberty to study painting and poetry, mathematics and philosophy.” Adams knew why he did what he did. He was grounded in his daily decisions. When his back was against the wall he knew the response he would make time and time again.

You and I need lines in the sand. Core values are lines in the sand.

Core values are your fixed position. The consistent and reliable way you respond time after time. They are your north star. Whether you are aware of them or not, core values will always show up in your actions and decisions.

When I got serious about my mission, I knew I needed to discern my values. Here’s what flowed out of me.

I value…

Excellence

Self-improvement

Truth

Optimism

These are the values which guide my decisions and actions – no matter what. These show me when to say “yes” and more importantly, when to say ”no.”

You might be asking, how do I discern my values?

Make a list

Here’s the way to start. Find a comfortable place, get a note pad, and start writing words that you believe describe you. Some words might be “courageous, stubborn, helpful, loving, compassionate, driven, faith, excellence, commitment…”

Spend time with this and write what comes to mind. You may even want to think about positive words others have used to describe you.

Choose 3-5 Words

Once you have your list, go back and highlight three to five words that resonate deeply with you. These are words that warm your heart and put fire in your belly.

Only choose three to five words. These are characteristics and habits that you will live by when your back is against the wall.

Will they last?

These values will need to be your line in the sand. You’ve got to ask yourself, “Will these things I’ve chosen to guide my decisions last when it gets hard? Or will I respond oppositely?”

If your core values don’t work when you have to make a hard decision they’re not values, they’re wishes.

You’ll know if your values are right the first time you need to say “no” to someone.

Have fun with this exercise. I’m here to help. Let me work with you as you get a clear handle on your life mission and core values. Schedule a free 30 minute consultation with me.