As a Christian men’s coach deeply invested in helping men thrive in their faith, purpose, and their marriages, Valentine’s Day always prompts me to reflect on the profound gift of a wife. Amid the chocolates and roses, let’s pause and consider a truth from Robert Wolgemuth’s Lies Men Believe: Marriage isn’t just a romantic partnership—it’s a full-length mirror that God uses to reveal our true selves.
Think about it, men. When we stand in front of that mirror, what do we see? Not the polished image we project at work or church, but the raw reality—our selfishness, impatience, or pride that surfaces in the daily grind of loving one woman faithfully. Wolgemuth nails it: Without a redeeming Savior, we’re hopelessly flawed, and marriage exposes that risk of mediocrity or outright failure. But here’s the beautiful flip side—this isn’t a curse; it’s God’s grace in action.
God didn’t design marriage primarily to make us happy, but to make us holy. That mirror forces us to confront our inability: “You and I cannot. God can.” When we acknowledge our weakness, maybe that short temper during disagreements or the tendency to prioritize hobbies over connection, we invite His power to transform us. It’s grace that empowers us to lead with humility, serve selflessly, and love like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). In this sanctifying process, our wives become instruments of God’s refinement, helping us grow into the men He calls us to be.
This Valentine’s Day, don’t just celebrate the romance; thank God for the mirror. Lean into it. Talk openly with your wife about what marriage is revealing in you. Seek His grace to counter lies like “My wife should make me happy” or “I can lead on my own strength.” Instead, embrace the truth: Marriage is a divine tool for holiness, drawing you closer to Him and her.
If you’re struggling, remember: Rebounding starts with reflection. Let’s honor our wives by pursuing Christlikeness together. Happy Valentine’s Day—may your marriage reflect His glory more brightly.
Dr. Ron Geisler 