In a world that celebrates self-made men—the guy who grinds harder, achieves more, and bows to no one—there’s a famous line that has inspired countless people: “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”
You probably recognize it from the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley. It’s a defiant declaration of human strength in the face of suffering. Henley wrote it from a hospital bed, battling an illness that had already cost him a leg. Many men admire that grit. I get it. Something is appealing about standing unconquered, steering your own ship no matter the storm.
But here’s the truth I’ve seen in coaching middle-aged Christian men like you: when we insist on being the sole captain of our souls, we often end up shipwrecked. Oscar Wilde, reflecting on his own downfall in De Profundis, admitted as much: “I ceased to be lord over myself. I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did not know it.” He had chased pleasure and self-rule, only to find it led to ruin.
The reality is, most men today aren’t even aware who’s steering their inner ship. We pour our energy into careers, families, hobbies, and ministry—building impressive public lives—while our private world, our soul, lies neglected and disordered. Like Gordon MacDonald warns in Ordering Your Private World, if we don’t cultivate strength on the inside, our outer lives will eventually collapse.
Think about it: If someone asked you today, “How is it with your soul?”—a question John Wesley used to hold his people accountable—would you have a real answer? Or would you pause, clueless, because no one’s ever pressed you there? Too many good Christian men are left stammering, because we’ve never learned to tend the garden of our inner lives.
Biblical masculinity isn’t about self-mastery in isolation. It’s about strength under authority—surrendering the captain’s wheel to Jesus Christ, the true Lord of our souls. When we do that, we regain purpose, a deep connection with God and others, and the resilience to lead our families and communities with integrity.
One Simple Step to Begin Ordering Your Private World
You don’t need a complete overhaul today. Start with one actionable practice that any man can do immediately: Set aside 10 minutes each morning for unhurried time with God in Scripture and prayer, specifically asking Him, “How is it with my soul, Lord?”
Here’s how to do it right now:
- Find a quiet spot—before the demands of the day hit. No phone, no distractions.
- Read a short passage—start with a Psalm (like Psalm 139 or 51) or a few verses from the Gospels.
- Pray honestly—Invite Jesus to search your heart. Speak the question out loud: “Lord, how is it with my soul today?” Then listen. Journal what comes up: gratitude, sin to confess, fears, joys, or just silence.
- End by surrendering—Pray something like: “Jesus, You are the Captain of my soul. Order my inner world today for Your glory.”
This isn’t optional soul-care fluff. It’s the foundation of thriving in biblical masculinity. When your private world is ordered around Christ, you’ll lead with clearer purpose, love your wife and kids from overflow rather than exhaustion, and stand firm when culture pressures you to compromise.
The unconquerable soul isn’t the one that defies God—it’s the one submitted to Him. Take that first step tomorrow morning. Regain command by handing the wheel to the One who calms the storms.
You’ve got this, because He’s got you.
Dr. Ron Geisler 